


The Opposite of Afterglow

by roquentine



Series: The Opposite of Afterglow [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-11
Updated: 2012-03-11
Packaged: 2017-11-01 18:59:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/360157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roquentine/pseuds/roquentine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The prompt: "Sherlock. John. Mycroft. Lestrade. One bed." (The opposite of a warning: there is no porn here.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Opposite of Afterglow

_  
A/N: This only works if you know how they’re arranged. So if you’re standing at the foot of the bed looking at them, from your left to your right: Mycroft, Lestrade, Sherlock, John._  
  
 _John_ :  There are too many people in this bed.  
  
 _Sherlock_ :  It was your idea.  
  
 _John_ :  It bloody well was _not_. Shove over.  
  
 _Sherlock_ :  There’s nowhere to go.  
  
 _John_ :  Well, if I take a deep breath, I’ll fall out, so shove over.  
  
 _Maneuvering ensues._  
 _  
_ _Lestrade_ :  Ow.  
 _  
_ _Mycroft_ :  What?  
 _  
_ _Lestrade_ :  Your elbow.  
 _  
_ _Mycroft_ :  What about it?  
 _  
_ _Lestrade:_   It's digging into my side.  
 _  
_ _Mycroft_ :  That’s not my elbow.  
 _  
_ _John_ :  Oh, _please_.  
 _  
_ _Mycroft_ :  I mean, it’s not _my_ elbow.  
 _  
_ _Lestrade_ :  Sherlock?  
 _  
_ _Sherlock_ :  It’s my elbow?  
 _  
_ _John_ :  See, when you lose track of whose elbow is where, you know there’s too many people in one bed.  
 _  
_ _Lestrade_ _(_ _to no one in particular)_ :  How did I get here?  
 _  
_ _Mycroft_ :  Look to your left.  
 _  
_ _Sherlock_ :  Oh, sing a different song, would you please.  
 _  
_ _Mycroft_ :  Excuse me?  
 _  
_ _Sherlock_ :  My whole life, whatever happens, let's just blame Sherlock. Ever since we were kids...  
  
 _Lestrade_ :  Oh, God. Can we please not talk about how some of us are related?  
  
 _Mycroft snorts.  
_  
 _Lestrade_ :  What?  
  
 _Mycroft_ :  You are one of four naked men in a bed...  
  
 _John_ _(under his breath)_ :  Which is TOO MANY.  
  
 _Mycroft_ :  And you’re disturbed that two of us are...  
  
 _Lestrade_ _(cringing)_ :  Please don't say it out loud.  
  
 _Mycroft:_   ...brothers?  
  
 _Lestrade:_   Oh, bloody hell.  
  
 _Sherlock_ :  God, you smell good.  
  
 _John_ and _Lestrade_ :  Thank you.  
  
 _They raise their heads to peer at each other. Sherlock chuckles._  
 _  
_ _Mycroft:_   It just seems an odd time to concern yourself with taboos.  
 _  
_ _Sherlock:_   It's not a big deal, Greg.  
 _  
_ _Lestrade:_   Are you saying you've done this before?  
 _  
_ _Mycroft:_   Well...       _Sherlock:_   Sort of.  
 _  
John:   _Sort of?  
 _  
Sherlock:   _By accident.  
 _  
_ _Lestrade:_   How does _this_ happen by accident?  
 _  
_ _Mycroft:_   You'd be surprised.  
 _  
_ _John_ :  At this point, I really wouldn't. Sherlock, can we please go back to my room?  
 _  
_ _Sherlock:_   But Lestrade smells nice.  
 _  
_ _Lestrade_ _(chuffed):_   Thank you!      _John:_   Oi!  
 _  
_ _Mycroft:_   You are aware that in ancient Egypt...  
 _  
Three of the four men groan._  
 _  
_ _Mycroft:_   Brothers and sisters married each other all the time.  
 _  
Three of the four men make noises of disgust._  
 _  
Mycroft:_   It was the only way to protect the family fortune.  
 _  
_ _John:_   Can't you make him stop talking?  
 _  
_ _Sherlock:_   There's been no evidence of it so far.  
 _  
_ _Lestrade:_   Maybe we can just... sleep...  
 _  
_ _John_ :  Yes, with half of us in a different bed.  
 _  
_ _Sherlock:_   I'm too tired to move.  
 _  
_ _John_ _(_ _getting up_ ):  I'm not. I'm going to a different bed.  
 _  
Lestrade:   _No, wait! Please, you cannot leave me here with them.  
 _  
John:   _You're welcome to come with me.  
 _  
_ _Mycroft:_   No.    _Sherlock:_   Hey!  
 _  
_ _John:_   Sherlock, I'm not kidding, get up, or I take Lestrade.  
 _  
Sherlock:   _You could take Mycroft.  
 _  
_ _Mycroft_ and _John:_   NO.  
 _  
_ _Lestrade_ ( _to no one in particular)_ :  God, I need a cigarette.  
 _  
_ _John:_   Sherlock, I swear, I will carry you upstairs if I have to.  
 _  
_ _Sherlock:_   As if you could.  
 _  
_ _John:_   SHERLOCK. COME ON.  
 _  
_ _Sherlock:_   All right, all right.  
 _  
As Sherlock gets up slowly,_ _Mycroft_ _gets up quickly_.  
 _  
_ _Lestrade:_   Where are _you_ going?  
 _  
Mycroft (getting dressed): _ Can't stay. I have an early meeting.  
 _  
Sherlock (falling back into the bed):  _ Thank God. _  
_ _  
_ _John:_   Oh, for fuck's sake.  
 _  
_ _Lestrade:_   Do you want me to come with you?  
 _  
_ _M_ _ycroft:_   No, stay. Get some sleep.  
 _  
_ _John:_   What a novel idea. _  
  
He climbs in after Sherlock, pushing him toward the middle._ _Sherlock groans but moves over._  
 _  
Mycroft leans down, kisses Lestrade.  
  
_ _Lestrade:_   Good night.  
 _  
_ _Mycroft:_   I'll see you later. Good night, John.  
 _  
John (his eyes closed):  _ Whatever.  
 _  
Mycroft:   _Sherlock, don't forget... it's Mummy's birthday on Sunday.  
 _  
_ _Lestrade_ _:_   Oh, God.     _John_ _:_ GET OUT.      
 __  
 _Sherlock snores._  
  



End file.
